“ You’re a WHAT?!”, is usually the response I get whenever someone asks me what I do and I say I’m a sex therapist. It’s like I can see people’s brains trying to figure out what in the world sex and therapy have to do with each other. If you’re here because you’re wondering the same thing, welcome! Hopefully reading part one of frequently asked questions about sex therapy will help.
What exactly is sex therapy?
By far, the number one question I get asked about sex therapy is what is it or what does that mean. Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy with a licensed mental health professional that focuses on the mental, emotional and physiological aspects of sex and sexuality.
Why do people see a sex therapist? How do I know if I should see one?
People come to sex therapy for a variety of reasons! Maybe they are having challenges with the physical aspects of sex like erections or orgasms, or experiencing pain during sex. Or, the concern could be about what’s going on in their mind or with partners.
Sex therapy may be a great next step if you:
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Have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection
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Often feel nervous, anxious, or distracted before or during sex
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Experience pain or discomfort during sex
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Have noticed changes in your feelings or desire for sex or intimacy
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Struggle to communicate your sexual desires or feelings with a partner
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Are exploring your sexual orientation or gender identity (while single or in a relationship)
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Experience a mismatch in desire/libido between you and your partner
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engage in out-of-control or compulsive sexual behaviors (sometimes referred to as “sex addiction”)
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Are exploring or having challenges related to kink or non-monogamy
What are sex therapy sessions like?
Every therapist is different so exactly what sex therapy sessions will be like depends. However, there are a few things you can likely expect.
Your sex therapist will probably spend some time getting to know more about you and your history with sex and relationships. You’ll likely talk about your experiences that prompted you to consider sex therapy, and your goals or what you would like to see change in your life as a result of sex therapy.
A key difference in sex therapy compared to therapy for other things is you may talk more explicitly about matters that are usually pretty private. Masturbation, pornography, and frequency of sexual activity are common topics in sex therapy. If you’re initially uncomfortable talking about such matters, let your sex therapist know!
Some therapists encourage their clients to complete activities or reflect about things in between sessions, sometimes referred to as therapy “homework.” Sex therapists, like other therapists, can use different strategies or tools to help you reach your goals.
How long will it take for my problems to get better? Is sex therapy usually short term or long term?
I’m going to give you a classic therapist answer…it depends! Some therapists may specialize in short term care, while others will work with you indefinitely. How long it takes for you to feel better about your concerns will also vary. Some people may notice that they start to feel better just by starting to talk about their concerns. For others, it can take longer to realize any noticeable changes. Either experience is completely valid! If you ever have concerns about your progress or if therapy is helping, you and your therapist can work together to address them.
Cee, can you be my sex therapist?
Well, I’m flattered! If you are looking for a sex therapist in North Carolina I’d be glad to talk with you and see if we’re a good fit. Click below to read more about sex therapy with me or schedule a free 20 minute consultation. Stay tuned for the rest of the FAQ about Sex Therapy series, coming soon! Have other questions about sex therapy? Comment and let me know!
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